A Bundle of Laughter, Pasta and Goodbyes

Bolivia is beautiful and proving to be a totally worthwhile experience. What’s left of the skin on our fingers will be relieved to find that nearly finished with sanding, plastering and painting. The mornings here are busy and our siesta at lunch is proving to be a necessity for sanity. With the painting all but finished, we have begun weed-hacking to brighten up the grounds and mural painting to brighten some of the rooms. Then come the afternoons, these continue to offer us with opportunities to play football and basketball with the local kids and also spend some time in the orphanages nearby. These moments are precious, and as time is rushing by, it is there on those pitches and courts we find ourselves we making the most worthwhile memories.

The ‘experience of the week’ competition was won by me finding myself locked in the boot of car yesterday for 20 minutes in the blazing lunchtime sun (there weren’t enough seats in the back, so someone had to be noble enough to get into the boot). After a good long wait and a respectable score of 102 on Flappy birds, Tom and Hayley noted my absence and ran down the street calling my name. Hayley thought I had been kidnapped and nearly had meltdown which was fun to watch through the waterfall of sweat cascading down my forehead and the waves of nausea rushing over me. I have never been so close to death, yet laughed so hard.

Our cravings for Western food are causing no end of grief. Much to my dismay and guilt, I ravished kilo worth of mints in just a few days, and much to both of our dismay and guilt, we have eaten all the Haribo sweets that were in our suitcases for the kids here. Tom is still pretty keen on steak, but my ‘steak-buds’ have abated and I am beginning to enjoy a varied breakfast which includes lots of papaya and this dubious lump of fried potato, cheese and meat, which is best described by our American friends as a ‘weirdo-hashbrown-meat-thing’. Our favourite food here is alligator, closely followed by ‘Saltenas’ - which are baked, heaven-sent pastries filled with the most delicious chicken, vegetables and whatever else the Bolivians can find. On the most part we are more than content with the nourishment here and we have had the chance to eat some mouthwateringly tasty food. Also frequent trips to Craig and Amanda’s house offers us the chance to divulge in popcorn and if we are lucky, a proper cake. 

Craig and Amanda have been missionaries here for several years and are a delight to spend time with. Craig is from Scotland and offers us the standard full-range of British humour with a Scottish twist which wonderfully compliments the lack of political correctness here in Bolivia. Amanda is the other half to Craig (or vice-versa), she is well adjusted to the humour, and offers us a gauge as to whether or not we have crossed the line - both ourselves, but mostly Craig, are still learning. Aside from questionable humour, its great to be able to share our experiences with them and watch a young couple at work, who have left their homes to serve the Lord in a difficult and impoverished part of the world.

Some updates on various issues (mostly for our mother’s peace of mind): 

1. Tom’s insatiable desire for plain pasta and eggs has somewhat relented. Though yesterday, he ate plain pasta while the rest of us dared to venture out for some proper food.
2. Being locked in the boot is usually a one-off occurrence.
3. We have run out of toilet paper.
4. We have run out of contact lens solution.
5. We are running out of toothpaste.
6. We are gathering pots for all these things and hoping that the Lord provides some sort of ‘widow-with-oil’ miracle. Don’t stop fill every pot.
7. Love you Mum. Stay strong.

On Sunday, we said goodbye to our good Bolivian friend Paulo. He is 19, good at everything and heading off to university. If I’m honest its like looking in a mirror and seeing a Bolivian version of me… just without the ears and nose which an unfortunate sequence of paternal genetics has graced me with. The language barrier has proved no hurdle to our friendship and he has been great fun to have around. We have left him armed with a quiver full with a borderline-offensive words, which will make him a match for any cheeky Brit wishing to dispose their wit upon a situation. Also, we said goodbye to Chiki, who has also been a lot of fun to spend time with. He speaks good English, and we both feel confident that we have done him a service by adding these to his vocabulary too... All of us guys have spent many happy hours and late night playing table tennis, watching movies, escaping on milk-shake trips into town, and we even nearly got caught up in a protest with them too! Its strange to see how close you become to people in such a short amount of time. The American girls left yesterday too, which will be incredibly sad for us. They have been the best of companions with which we have spent immeasurable amounts of fun and laughter with. Many a long morning of painting has been brightened by their presence, and aside from the country music, the never-ending discussions on hygiene issues, bringing stool pots to dinner, forgetting to let us out of the burning boot of the car, the illusion that America is the greatest country on earth, the constant ‘where-sweat-is-dripping-from’ updates and more, we will miss them lots. You guys are our amigas and dare I say… bro-beans/ friends, if you ever come to England there will always be space in our hearts to wish you luck in finding a place to stay.

Aside from the work here, we have found Bolivia to be a great place to pray, seek God and gather perspective on our futures. Philippians 2:12-13 talks about ‘working out your salvation with fear and trembling’ and that has certainly been something we have the opportunity to do, particularly with the rapid approach of Bath and Cambridge in mind. I’ve found that the key to doing this comes in the last phrase of the verse, ‘for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.’’  Working out our salvation is to understand the reason for which we have been saved - which is His good pleasure! ‘God takes pleasure in all his work because it reflects his righteous character and infinite capacity’, so our aim for these remaining weeks is to both delight ourselves in the Lord and also be His delight by letting Him use our work here reflect His love and joy. Pray for us, but more so for the missionaries and the Foundation, the reality is that the harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few. 

Hayley Mid-Meltdown!

Saying Goodbye to Chiki.

A Real Man's Onesie.

Paulo Popping in to Say Goodbye.

Fundacion Totai!

Peeling 600 Pounds of Potatoes for a Fundraiser!

The Squad!

Saltenas - which make an incredible breakfast dish.

Found this little nugget under our bed!

'Only in Bolivia'

Three weeks of the eight have gone by, its crazy to think that we are nearing the halfway point. Again, this week hasn’t been out-of-the-ordinary in terms of routine, but there were certainly a whole bundle of things that were extraordinary and unique to this little city in Bolivia. I’ve written about some of them below - pick and choose if your in a rush, there are photos too - if your too lazy to read…! 

Wednesday, Alligator Alert! There we stood in the shadow of a tree, playing hide-and-seek with scorching sun, yelling out in some garbled form of Spanish, attempting to encourage the more ‘lethargic’ kids to complete the final lap of their warm-up around the football pitch. Suddenly the cry of ‘Aligátor!!!’ was heard from the far corner. Looking in disbelief at my American co-volunteer, I joined the tirade of young Bolivians who were suddenly very keen to complete at least half of the final lap and race to where the cry was first heard. When we reached the corner of the field, there were no blood or guts as half expected, but rather a great deal of commotion around a marshy canal, and much to my horror/ delight I caught sight of the tail of a rather large alligator slipping into the water. I did an emergency headcount, but thankfully, the critter wasn’t feeling particularly peckish and so it took no interest in an easy dinner (Though I was concerned that this was the cousin of the alligator we ate the other day) and presumably would have began swimming back down the canal. The kids however were not satisfied with a mere glimpse, and began launching rocks into canal in the hope of hitting the poor alligator - which they did, a few times. Though not a wise idea, this was fun. With some hindsight, this is not something I would outright recommend, but the sport of watching such a predator splashing about in the water was entertaining, and I couldn’t help become absorbed in the adrenaline fuel frenzy. It was then that the sunstroke availed for enough time to allow me to gain some grip on reality to remembered that this was a football pitch and not a zoo. Not wanting to be caught up in some sort of 'Aligator-gate' scandal we made a swift move around the rest of the kids. Thankfully, no kids were eaten, saying that now though I think forgot to do a final headcount…

Friday, A Sweat Infused Nightmare! This week was an introduction to what real heat is. Simply put, the South American sun is an unrelenting beast. At the end of a each day Tom and I now help each other change, peeling off the layers that are seemingly glued onto our skin. The week was a pleasant week, but by all means a sweat infused marathon. Each morning began with us re-living our younger bed-wetting days except this time the beds were soaked with perspiration, each siesta nap would include an intense pray session asking for wind to blow through into the room, each night would greet us with hours of laying on a mattress wishing and waiting for sleep to grip us. On Friday, just when we thought the ‘sweat-athon’ was over, we were asked to help in the kids club, our naive minds leapt at this chance of ministry, little did we know that for the next two hours this meant sitting in a room swelling with kids, helpers and the full weight of the Bolivian heat. The abnormal perspiration of the Bolivian helpers was of little encouragement as we sat separated and helpless, facing up to wave after wave of a sweat infused nightmare. We would occasionally look over at our fellow volunteers and nod in some mutual ‘I-feel-ya-pain’ sorta way, wondering how soon it would be until our bodies would run out of water and just shrivel up. The most embarrassing moment came when I was asked to help cut some verses out of the paper which was thrust onto my lap, much to my horror the paper literally melted in my hands, within seconds my sweaty palms had turned the paper soggy, I swear parts of the paper were beginning to disintegrate. After much effort and uneasiness, I managed to produce some pulpy like slips which looked as if they had endured a 40 minute quick spin in the washing machine. I sheepishly passed the saturated slips to the helper who looked at me with some degree of sympathy and said, ‘Estas caliente?’ (Are you hot?), I squeaked out a subdued ‘Si, muy caliente…’ (Yes, very hot…) and silently prayed for the imminent return of the Lord. 

Saturday, Lost and Found! Saturday found us endeavouring to fill the big ‘icecreamless' hole in our stomachs and hearts. Our strategy for fulfilment was that we would get taxis into town, which would drop us outside the ice-cream shop and we would gorge ourselves until our stomach would quite literally exploded (3 out of the 5 are lactose intolerant…). After a five minute journey we were, for some unbeknown reason, dropped off in two random and separate locations around town. The taxi drivers whizzed off and left us standing on a dingy street, helpless and alone. Tom, Haley and I then embarked on a quest to find Juliana and Brittany - we walked down dusty streets, hopped over open drains, and scurried around moving traffic, hoping/praying that we would find our companions and more importantly have enough time to eat our ice-cream. The adventure came to an end much more quickly than anticipated, much to our surprise, a missionary who was shopping nearby spotted us and helped reunite the happy volunteer family safely back together again **Awwwww**… The ice-cream was good too!

Friday, The Trio! It was at basketball training that I met two girls and their baby brother. The eldest is no older than eight, the younger is four years old, and the baby brother is just over a year. They spend their day pushing him round in an old pushchair along dirty, dangerous, busy roads to get to basketball or wherever their day may take them. The girls, though young, are remarkably responsible, caring for him in such loving way, cuddling him when he cry’s and keeping him entertained with the toy they have strung up on the hood of the chair. They are in essence young mothers, and in part its heart-breaking - they shouldn’t need to carry the weight of such a burden so young, yet it is so heart-warming to see the love and sense of care they share for one another. Sadly, this doesn’t fit into my ‘Only in Bolivia’ category as this is a global problem, but how can I not write about how broken this world is and how much they need the love of a Saviour. Please pray for them.

By default, the things that first look fascinating, become normalised quicker than expected. The poverty, the stench of open drains, the small, dusty brick houses, the pop-up shops on every street corner, the friendly stares from curious residents, horses and dogs casually basking in the sun, endless motorbikes whizzing past, and giggling children happily playing in the streets. These same things that we first stared at with inquisitive, child-like expressions are now commonplace - it means we are settling in well. Nearly everyday though, I find myself looking at something or watching people outside when I suddenly have a fresh realisation of our purpose here and the need these people have for the love of Jesus. There is so much work to be done here, the city is wide and sprawling, and the work here tries to cover as much ground as possible, but in reality it reaches just a small percentage of the the people here, so please, keep praying with us for these people and for the missionaries too. Even though there is much to be done, we are confident in both the day-to-day and eternal purposes and working of God.

Monday afternoon found us enjoying a swim in a lake, a bit of volleyball and lots of good company.

With some of the football kids, moments before 'Alligator-gate'

Found this photo of us during our induction at First Serve in Bath, seems like ages ago.

Emmanuel (Or 'Nugget' as the other volunteers say), who is our budding worship leader. 

A beautiful sunset which prompted many thoughts, which may be shared later.

Bolivian Life: Day to Day

Having solved continental humanitarian emergencies, quelled a rebel uprising, built a damn across the Amazon river to provide a sustainable energy source for the next century, and eating vicious man-consuming alligators (the last of which is actually true) this week hasn’t provided us with anything too dramatic or exotic, its just been nice to settle in further and get more of a feel for the work here. So rather than giving you a snapshot of an adventure, let me tell you what happens in the day to day rhythm of our time here. The mission is a Christian mission called ‘Fundacion Totai’, it serves three main purposes, 1 - as a medical centre; 2 - as a sport’s outreach, primarily basketball and football, to the kids who live in the city; 3 - as an education provider/outreach for these same kids (community classes and also OANSA, which is a scripture-learning club). The mission is centralised in a big building on the outskirts of Trinidad. In this building there are two floors, the first consisting of three offices, a reception area, a few different clinics (which meet a wide variety of needs), an operating theatre and also a ward. This floor is also home to a wonderful cafe, which serves the most amazing grapefruit and lemon ‘refresco’ and also a wide variety of meals. Tom and I are currently choosing to eat steak for breakfast and steak again for lunch - delicious! The second floor can be found up some stair cases, and through some new and dubiously plastered corridors (we are still learning the trade). These stairs will take you to two places, the first being two church rooms, which gets a good attendance on Sunday, and gets pretty packed on Saturday for the youth club. The second of the stairs will take you to two apartments, one of which is occupied by a pastor and his family, the other of which is occupied by two couples, a niece to one of the couples, and two strapping English lads who have been able to maintain a ridiculously high standard of cleanliness in their room. There is also a separate room outside of these two apartments, which is occupied by three American girls called Haley Ann Marie… Brittany Ann Marie… and Juliana Ann Marie…, who are on a similar 2 month programme. They are very good company, and its a relief to partake in some English-spoken banter, even if our humour may sometimes cause offence or not make any sense to them.

A normal day consists of team devotions at 8, a big breakfast of steak and two eggs, maintenance work from 9:00 - 12:00, steak and rice for lunch, then basketball, football, community class or bible studies from 14:00 - 17:00, then of course dinner, which we either make ourselves or go out and buy, steak here is around the £1.50 mark. Unfortunately, Tom’s approach to food is more mechanical than most, so for the last two weeks we have been eating pasta and eggs… every day. Yesterday, I surreptitiously bought tomatoes and peppers for some variety, which was a start, but please pray that my dear mission’s partner comes to the point in his life were he recognises the need for a diet more varied than just plain pasta and plain egg, and also that different shaped pasta doesn’t necessarily mean a different flavour (my faith for this needed revelation is slowly dwindling).

The work here is such fun, but also busy, we are blessed to sleep and eat very well. The primary obstacle is our lack of Spanish which is getting in the way of our communicating, this could, however, just be down to our lack of using the cold shower… we are trusting that in both cases progress will be made. What’s great to see is that the communication barrier hasn’t prevented us from making good friends, and the pictures below should show that we have made many from both the mission and youth work. We are praying that we can use these great opportunities to engage with them in a way which points them to Jesus. Our aim here isn’t to make a huge impact or change the world, but just to simply give our all to a community of needy people who need Jesus just as much as the neighbours on your street. There’s nothing particularly glamorous or exotic about the work, but its an inspiration to see the workers giving everything to engage with a needy city, bringing people to Jesus through a wide variety of outreaches and helping people find hope in often difficult circumstances. Seeing God at work is always a wonderful thing, and our hope for the next two months is we become increasingly able to share the joy and hope there is in following Jesus.

Prayer:

1. Please pray that Tom and I make good progress with the language
2. Please pray for the continued success of the work and that it continues to make much of Jesus.

Tom stepping out in faith to try something other than pasta and egg.

Deep Fried Alligator is Delicious!

Working on the world's most rickety ladder (We are fine Mum...)

Youth Group with our fellow American volunteers, my poor attempt at an 'American Smile', and Tom highlighting just how un-photogenic we British people are.

With some of our Bolivian Friends at Youth

Tom getting comfy 'Bolivian Style' after a long day of work...

Peeling an unbelievable amount of grapefruits, for some amazing 'Refresco'!

Community class with a few of the local kids

Fishing for a Predator

Four of us squished into the back, three in the front, and the boot was loaded with fishing gear and coca cola. We drove for an hour and a half down roads for whom tarmac was a fantasy. Before this were a range of worn-out, bumpy roads, travel for a while down these and you will soon find the humble, yet fascinating city of Trinidad. I won’t dare go into all the differences between this city and Swindon - they are innumerable. Every street is full of motorbikes, dogs and has a dusty road. Often the three are combined in one sudden moment, the biker’s accelerating wheels kicking up dust into the sky while being frantically chased down by a barking dog - an amusing sight… unless its you, but that’s another story.

The city soon dissolves into countryside, houses turn to trees, people disappear leaving us a curious variety of birds and animals to watch, and the clouds roll back to reveal the blazing sun. The place isn’t dense jungle, but it is certainly exotic. Thinking about it, its a strange thought to think we are finally in the Amazon Basin, having pointed to maps, read books, listened to missionaries, we are actually here, driving down earth’s bumpiest road, crammed into a 4x4, the tires sending dust flying high and the speakers blaring out One Direction. There is wildlife everywhere to see, the track is lined with a variety of small lakes and muddy swamps, the lakes - full of alligators, the swamps - full of pigs. Scraggly cows munch on the sparse green grass, huge cranes tower over head, and there is even a mockingbird gently hovering over an assortment of flowers. This landscape is by all accounts humble, yet magnificent.

Bumped and bruised, we finally arrive at our destination, a mud-stained river, rushing away out of sight into the vast jungle. In these waters live creatures which are small but vicious, a missionary tells us of how they bite so cleanly that first, you see the blood, then feel the pain. So with warnings in mind, we take a deep breath, don our strongest Australian accents, and start searching for the ‘critters’. We pull pieces of meat onto barbed hooks, throw out our lines, and wait for bait to be snatched, uncertain of what exactly what will come out of the water. 

We know one thing for sure, we are here to fish for a predator - the Piranha.

The Beginnings of the Jungle

The Mud-Stained River

The First of the Catch

Descaling the Critters, Tom Getting his Hands Dirty

Gutting the Piranhas ready for Sunday Lunch

First Impressions

We find ourselves landing in an airport as dusk is breaking, a luminous display of orange and yellow greets us, sweeping across the darkened landscape - we have landed in the heart of a La Paz. We sit for a while, waiting an hour in our little plane, the second of four stopovers. As the sun breaks the horizon, sunbeams begin to stream through the windows and we are gifted a view of the scenery around. It is beautiful, the red-brick city ends more promptly than expected (night time lights can be deceiving), and from this city scene migrates the edges of high plateau plains suddenly dropping to reveal a background of snow-topped mountains gently poking their faces over the edges and towards the sky. These mountains seem to be tender giants, but as we take-off we begin see the true enormity of them. They are so high that even at the plane's cruising height it seems as if we could reach out our hands and join the clouds in brushing the tops of the mountains. Soon, these very clouds envelope us, the turbulence takes over and we pray. Eventually, we sweep out from under the clouds to reveal jungle of some description, not a thick mass of trees and foliage, but rather what remains after Bolivian civilisation has carved out its home. Here lies another city, Santa Cruz, our home for the night.

One can’t help but imagine the feelings of Jim and Elizabeth Elliot as they flew into Quito, Ecuador for the very first time. They too would have seen very similar scenery and no doubt felt inadequate in comparison to the landscape - so many people, so much to see, and so much work to be done. I can’t help but admire their faith and bravery, stepping out into an unknown land and facing an uncertain future with the certain hope that their God would provide all their needs. Tom and I have much less uncertainty involved in our trip, yet with such a landscape and all these thoughts in view its hard not to feel humbled and inadequate. Though not pioneers, we are taking little steps of faith, ready to see God at work, raring to go and excited about the next two months.

Am I foolish enough?

On Monday, Elizabeth Elliot was called Home. For those unaware, Elizabeth was a lady with a unique story, who served God whole-heartedly and inspired many to missions. I first heard about her as an inquisitive eleven year-old while reading a short biography about her husband, Jim Elliot. In brief, Elizabeth met Jim at Wheaton College and there they began to seek God about a future together, however, they both believed God was calling them to different mission fields and so, with God at the centre, they parted company. It wasn’t long though, before Lord brought them together again to serve the Quichua Indians in Ecuador. Their work there was short and in the grand scheme of things it seemed relatively unimportant, however, the reality is that the story of their sacrifice and total surrender to a sovereign God still resounds around the globe as an inspiration for many to take up their crosses and follow Jesus. Elisabeth put their story very simply, she said,  

“A year after I went to Ecuador, Jim Elliot, whom I had met at Wheaton, also entered tribal areas with the Quichua Indians. In nineteen-fifty-three we were married in the city of Quito and continued our work together. Jim had always hoped to have the opportunity to enter the territory of an unreached tribe. The Aucas were in that category—a fierce group whom no one had succeeded in meeting without being killed. After the discovery of their whereabouts, Jim and four other missionaries entered Auca territory. After a friendly contact with three of the tribe, they were speared to death.”

It was tragic, but our God always has a plan, and he used the weakness of the situation to bring about His glory to make a human disaster become a Heavenly Triumph. As a result of their sacrifice, many hearts and lives have been pointed to Jesus. For me, hearing about this sacrifice gave me a heart for missions, and for many years after, I too wanted to go to Ecuador and follow in Jim and Elizabeth’s footsteps. The heart for missions is unquenchable.

Jim is well known for a famous statement, he once wrote, ’He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose.’ As an eleven year old, I really struggled with this. I knew it was an important statement, but I didn’t know what it meant. In fact, it took several more read-throughs and a good deal of thinking before I finally understood. Jim was talking about giving his life, and more than that, he was talking about giving and losing everything he had, to gain life with Jesus. His eyes were fixed on greater things than just the fading joys of earth, but rather on the eternal, life-giving hope that only a totally surrendered walk with Jesus can bring.

But what does this mean? ‘What does walking with Jesus look like?’ and is it really worth it?

Jesus is probably the best person to give an answer as he’s the one who does the walking with us. Mark 8: 24 - 26 speaks of a time when Jesus gave a very direct answer to that question, ‘Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” Reading that, it’s clear to see that our calling is a ‘strange one’, or so I’m told. Instead of being successful, trying to get to the top, or even trying to just be plain old comfortable, we are told to give all, sell all, and follow Jesus. It’s foolish, stupid even. Who gives up that much to follow someone who lived 2,000 years ago? No one does, no one but a fool. Yet it seems my problem is that I’m not foolish enough, while I write, there are brothers and sisters dying, suffering, losing all for the sake of Jesus, giving all they have, and holding nothing back. They undergo persecution, segregation, removal of human rights, and yet their faith in Jesus is firm. They know that this world holds nothing for them, and they literally give their lives because they have a Heavenly perspective which shows them that there is a God who is worth infinitely more than anything this world has to offer. This heavenly perspective was shared by Paul as he wrote in 1 Corinthians 1 vs 18, ‘For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.’ He got straight to the point, you see, he didn’t care if people thought he was a fool - all he cared about was the seeming foolishness of the cross! Later on in the book he writes, ’I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and… I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ and him crucified.’

So my encouragement is this - It’s a foolish choice, so do it! Jim and Elizabeth were totally right, they were looking at the culture and ways of the world square on and calling them out with their Jesus-centred words and actions. Why? Because according to them, only a fool would be completely sold for God, only a fool would give everything in surrender, only a fool would bypass comforts and security for a walk with Jesus. It just doesn’t make sense to the world. 

In reality, it’s hard to give up everything, it’s hard to surrender, and it hurts! Bearing a cross hurts. Jesus didn’t die to end our suffering, he died to break the chains of death and make a way so that we could take up our crosses and follow him. His death and resurrection gave us a means for establishing his kingdom on earth, for uniting us in the hope of his return, for restoring broken relationships, healing the broken-hearted and for redeeming people from the very grip of hell. It is the fundamental event of history, yet we so often over-look its true significance. When Jesus cried, ’It is finished’, he didn’t just build the bridge from man to God, but he crossed it and gave us his life and his calling. Please remember, we are not alone in this, this is a walk with a wonderful Saviour who knows the depths of our sinful heart. Therefore, our radical lifestyle will be not be out of duty, but rather it will come from the overflow of our heart’s worship, as we begin to understand that Jesus gave his everything for us, and we have no greater calling than to do the same. How often I forget it, yet how faithful our God is. The ebbing tide of His sweet-scented love swells to cover for our foul, sinful hearts. It is Him alone who is able ‘to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Saviour be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.’ It’s all about him, it’s all about Jesus, so to Him be our everything, to him be all glory and majesty and power, to him be my life, my university, my family. To him alone I owe, and to Him alone I will give my all.

I’ve made the point already I hope, but I’ll reiterate it with a lesson learnt from the book of Acts. Here we have Peter and Paul, who had given up everything to follow Jesus. They had nothing in this life, and yet somehow had an absolutely certain and radical faith that this life wasn’t the be all and end all. Why? Because they had Jesus. Peter had been there when Jesus said to ‘Take up your cross and follow me,’ and these two, they totally got it. The concept of taking up their cross meant the abandonment of all they had and instead the attainment of a walk with Jesus. They, along with Jim and Elizabeth Elliot, understood that when they got to Heaven they would have nothing but Jesus, and more than that, they wouldn’t want anything but Jesus, and so to take up their crosses was no duty, but rather a divine calling to have the same perspective on life that Jesus had. Oh to live like that! To live as if I had just seen Jesus, as if nothing else mattered anymore, as if all that the world could throw at me was nothing compared to being with Jesus, as if no circumstance I faced could hinder my view of a beautiful Saviour, as if my past could never overtake the wonder of walking with Him, as if any and everything fell into utter insignificance in view of a loving God who calls me by name. But hey, it a foolish choice, or at least you’ll be told it is. So are you foolish enough to take up your cross and follow Him?  

I am learning, through much failure and an abundance of grace, that no matter how foolish I appear, there is nothing worth more than walking with Jesus.

None, nothing, nobody, but Jesus.

Revelling in Weakness

 2 Corinthians 12: 

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

These verses speak of something immensely important, we see God respond to Paul’s plea and as we read on, we will see God proclaiming his sufficiency to human weakness. But let’s start from the beginning and work our way to this. Here, Paul has a ‘thorn in the flesh’, whether it be physical or spiritual, he has something that is causing him to see and feel weakness in tangible way. Its something he doesn’t want, and so three times he pleads with the Lord to take it away. Yet in Paul’s weakness, in his lack of self-sufficiency, God proclaims, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Paul's response shows us the ground-breaking reality of these words. ‘For when I am weak, then I am strong.’ This is a process, its an equation, weakness then strength. The ‘shy, rarely showing his face’ mathematician inside of me is struggling here, weakness does not equal strength, its opposite, it doesn’t match up, but thats exactly the point, because when you take Paul out of the equation we see who’s really behind it all - God,  ‘My power is made perfect in weakness.’  Our God, who uses the illiterate shepherds to proclaim the good news, faithless fisherman to be his disciples, a law-bound, christian-killer to write doctrine, and the one who first denied him to bring the first revival, is enough. Something happened in the case of all these people, something great and mysterious occurred - the love of God was given to them, and in their weaknesses they were strong, in their failures they were victorious? Why? Because his grace is sufficient and his power is made perfect in weaknesses.

What is weakness?

The subject of the weakness in this passage is Paul, he has ‘a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited’. See, firstly, weakness in this passage is not talking about sin. Sin is not causing Paul to be weak, but rather it is a difficult, painful situation, circumstance or experience, that he does not have the power or capacity to get rid of. He is stuck with it. The passage answers the question simply as ‘weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities’. From my perspective, I may not have felt those things as intensely as some have, but I certainly have experienced and seen such moments. 

Understanding and confessing weakness is a humbling process. Human pride and the culture of the world are opposite to this, they say there is no place for weakness, ‘Be strong, overcome your circumstances’, but the reality is that God uses these situations for his glory. And only when we are humble, can we truly see this. Let me be clear though, God is not delighting in your sorrow or rejoicing in your troubling situation, but he is working all things for His good, he is letting us see more of Him through our situations. To perhaps understand this more, we ought to look at what the purpose of weakness is.

What is the purpose of weakness?

When you really look closely at this passage, the magnitude of these verses will change you. If we understand what weakness is, then we will be able to understand what the purpose of weakness is. However, this depends on where the weakness comes from. So the first question to really ask is ‘Who is the weakness from?’ The answer is two fold, firstly, ‘a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me‘  Here we see, clearly marked out, the weakness was from Satan, who’s intentions are ultimately to destroy man, to cause us to be proud, to cause us to fall and lose sight of Jesus; but when we read further on, we see the sovereignty of God,’a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.’  Its important to understand that this isn’t Paul trying to unearth a positive consequence from the work of Satan, its him recognising the sovereign hand of God working in every area of his life, even through weakness. 

Paul is presented with a very real weakness, and so he pleads with the Lord to take it away because he sees who is really in control. As we looked at earlier, when we experience and recognise weakness we are faced with this worldly mindset that it is something to be ‘got rid of’, but it is so important to remember ‘the source of our weaknesses may sometimes be Satan and his destructive designs for us; but always our weaknesses are designed by God for our good. This is why the truth of God's sovereign grace is so precious in the midst of hardship and calamity. God is in control of Satan. Satan does nothing to God's children that God does not design with infinite skill and love for our good.’ (Good ol’ Piper!)

The Purpose? To Glorify Jesus!

We are never promised that weakness is something light, or that it will leave us at a whim. Weakness is real, painful and experienced and wrestled with by every person. So the most precious and important ‘need’ we have during weakness is to recognise the ultimate work of God through us. We are promised weakness, we are told to expect persecution, suffering, trials and sickness. But most of all we are promised that ‘All things work together for good’, we are promised that ‘I will never leave you or forsake’, we are promised that God is in control and he has triumphed! Look at the “Hall of Fame” (Hebrews 11) to see God triumphing through weakness. The reality of the Bible and testimonies of faith we hear and see is that weakness is used by God to bring about his eternal plan of salvation on earth. How wonderful and how awesome that we have a God who uses our weakness to bring about His goodness. See him at work in the weakness of Daniel and the three in the fiery furnace, in the weakness of Job, the weakness of the apostles, the weakness of Paul. Every passage of scripture and history is full of human weakness, and yet brimming with the sovereign work of God.

God’s power here, is the power of his grace. Satan gives Paul a thorn in the flesh, God gives grace, and so the evil working of the messenger of Satan is turned into the fruit of God-reliance in the life of Paul. The enemy strikes, and the power of God turns it around. God has used persecution in China for revival, he uses physical, chronic pain to draw people closer to Himself, He uses domestic messes to bring about purposes that no human could ever imagine, He uses breakups and breakdowns in relationships to bring people to see His love, He uses job loss, church splits, and broken homes and cities, God is a God of the impossible - He is able! His grace works as a reversal of the Satan-inflicted situation, and turns it into God-glorifying goodness. The emptiness of our weakness is filled by His grace and sufficiency and we bear fruit.

Let this encourage you, for when our weaknesses feel overwhelming, when our situations get too much - his grace is sufficient, when all around us seems dark, he has a purpose, he has a plan. Paul’s experience of God is so, that he says, ‘Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.’ His thirst and desire is for the power of Christ to fulfil his weakness, and this makes him actively boast and say, ‘Here is my weakness, look how Christ is totally sufficient.’ Suddenly, the weakness is not about him or me, but rather about God and his power in our lives. See, God doesn’t need us to be perfect and he doesn’t offer us present perfection, he sees our imperfections and fills them with his sufficiency, 'for when I am weak, then I am strong’. 

There is so much value in recognising what the bigger picture holds, and seeing that the ultimate purpose of God in our weakness is to let us taste and see and experience the same power which created Heaven and Earth, the same power which brought Jesus to us and conquered death, the same power that caused the church to explode, and the Gospel to spread. In reality, we are not called to try and rid ourselves of weakness, but rather, see and understand that our weaknesses are all part of a greater purpose, they are all part of letting us grasp the grace and sufficiency of Jesus, that he might be glorified in and through us! Pray that our weaknesses might help us see and revel in the wonder of His love and goodness towards us, for this is what we are called to experience. We are able to proclaim that because of Jesus, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong!